Saturday, March 3, 2012

I know a lot of people will be judgmental to our decisions.. But that's okay everyone is entitled to their opinions... I am young.. And with a man who has been in the military 2 years already.. He plans onmaking it a career, he wants 20 years in the service. So here we go. I live in california, been here about a year, I decided to move my mom out here with my little brothers and I, so I bought my mom a greyhound ticket while she's on her way here she meets this guy. She calls me and tells me he's my new bf haha. Just joking you know. We met later that night when I went to go pick up my mom at the station saturday and offered him a ride home. We started to texted and talk by sunday morning we were a couple, later on in the day he told my mom and I he wanted to marry me before he leaves, but there wasn't enough time he left within 3 days and I work 2 jobs and also run my own business... So it didn't happen.. But he said when he comes back from georgia in december that that's when we would get married.. So we're engaged technically because ipromised to be there for him. After getting married we'd leave to Germany for 6 months before he was deployed for 15months in afghanistan... But I'm having a hard time thinking this is for real. When we talk at night he says babe I am dead serious about this please wait for me.. But the whole communication part is difficult because I call atthe time he says but he answers and I ask if he's in bed and he says yes I'm really tired.. Should I tell him to just call me when he gets the chance? Or what should I really do????!!!:(|||I am going to look at this objectively and not judgmentally....
The chances of a marriage between two people who really do not know one another lasting is VERY slim... you throw the army into the mix and the chances are next to zero. This is not to say that it is impossible, just very improbable.
He will not be deploying to Afghanistan or anywhere else for 15 months.... the Department of Defense just issued a new ruling that deployments will only be 9 months long. With the implementation of this new rule, it is unknown which units will deploy and when they will deploy. So if he is telling you that he KNOWS he will deploy for 15 months, he is mistaken!
Think very hard about whether this is the life you want... IF he moves to Germany and IF he deploys, you will be in Germany without him. IF you marry him, you will likely move often and the chances of living close to your mom and brother will be very, very small. You could end up in Germany and realize you do not really know him and that you have made a huge mistake- this would require you to find your own way back to the states.
Marrying a soldier is not for everyone. There are a lot of challenges that come with being an Army wife. There are even more challenges that come with being an Army wife when you are married to a man you don't really know.
Just think about whether any of this situation actually makes sense for the long term well being of your life. What do you have to lose by marrying him and following him to Germany? What do you have to lose by cutting ties now and moving on with your life? Answer those questions honestly and you will have your answer|||go with your gut feeling. If it doesn't sound right, then leave him alone. You say your young, then there will be plenty of time to find a Mate. If you just met him, then why rush.? Give it some time. YOu are better off finding out now if it is the real thing.

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